MCQESQ

I Don’t Want To Go To Heaven If I Can’t Get In

MCQ — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 21:34:16 +0000

The title of this post comes from a recently released single, called “Heaven” by the band O.A.R. (which apparently stands for “Of A Revolution”).

This is not a band I follow much, so I’m not very familiar with their other work, but I like a lot of what I have heard of their music. This particular track, the first single of the bands album King which was released this year, caught my attention partly because it’s a catchy tune and has been getting some radio play, but mostly because of the lyrics.

Of course, it’s just a dumb pop song in some ways, but it resonates with some people and is causing some small stir in the Christian community, partly because it captures, in a very articulate and pithy way, a view that is very widespread in our culture and is the reason, I believe, why many people want nothing to do with any organized religion, including ours. That view is that religion pitches heaven (the ultimate goal of existence) as a kind of exclusive country club, and the kind of person you are is really not welcome there.

Here’s the video, followed by the lyrics in full:

I’M UNDERNEATH IT ALL TONIGHT
OUT MY WINDOW THERE’S A MILLION LIGHTS
A THOUSAND HEARTS FEELING JUST LIKE ME
MAN, IT FEELS LIKE HEAVEN OUT HERE IN THE STREET

I KNOW I GOT A LOT TO LEARN
BREAKING BOTTLES ONLY LEFT ME HURT
PLAYED WITH FIRE TILL I BURNED MYSELF
DON’T YOU KNOW THAT LOVE’LL BRING US SOMEWHERE ELSE

SO YOU TAKE THE LEFT, I’LL TAKE THE RIGHT
UNDER ARREST, WE’RE UNDER FIRE
OH, OH, OH, OH
I DON’T WANNA GO TO HEAVEN IF I CAN’T GET IN
YOU TAKE THE LOW, I’LL TAKE THE HIGH
YOU LOCK THE GATE, I HEAR THE CHOIR
EVERYBODY GOT A PROBLEM WITH THE WAY I LIVE
I DON’T WANNA GO TO HEAVEN IF I CAN’T GET IN

MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE MY TIME
AND BUILD THIS LIFE BY MY OWN DESIGN
WITH NO DIRECTION AND IT’S IN BETWEEN
EVERYTHING I LOVE AND EVERYTHING I NEED

SO BRING IT BACK
ALL I WANT IS UNDERSTANDING
TO LIVE MY LIFE THE WAY THAT I PLANNED IT
WOULDN’T CHANGE A THING
MAN, IT FEELS LIKE HEAVEN UNDERNEATH MY FEET

SO RAISE EM UP, RAISE EM UP
ALL I EVER WANTED WAS A SHOT AT YOUR LOVE
I KNOW AND I BELIEVE
EVERYTHING WE GOT IS EVERYTHING WE NEED
LOVE’LL GET YOU HIGHER
IT SET MY HEART ON FIRE
I KNOW IT’S WHAT YOU SEE
DON’T WANNA GO TO HEAVEN IF THEY DON’T WANT ME

CAUSE I’M NO CRIMINAL
I’M NOT YOUR ENEMY
ALL I HAVE IS LIFE
AND I DON’T WANNA GO TO HEAVEN IF I CAN’T GET IN

RAISE EM UP, RAISE EM UP
EVERYTHING YOU WANTED IS INSIDE YOUR CUP
DRINK UP
LOVE WILL GET YOU HIGHER

OH, I’M NOT YOUR ENEMY
I NEVER MET NO CRIMINAL
AND IN THE END I’D DO IT AGAIN
I DONT WANNA GO TO HEAVEN IF I CANT GET IN

OH, I’M NOT A CRIMINAL
YEAH I’M NO ENEMY
IT’S JUST THE WAY I LIVE
I DONT WANNA GO TO HEAVEN IF I CANT GET IN

Here’s a video of Doug Pagitt, who is a Christian minister of some sort, discussing the song:

Here’s a quote from one of the band members about the song:

“The song comes from the belief that you are perfect the way you are and if anyone thinks differently, you probably don’t need them in your life,” says O.A.R. guitarist Richard On.

To me, the song strikes a chord (pun intended) with people because it describes a problem that people have with religion that they are often reluctant, or unable, to articulate on their own. No one wants to be told that they are unwanted and unnecessary, and yet that is often the very message that we lead with when we approach someone about our religion. Perhaps that’s not intentional, but the message heard by people we talk to often is: You need this, because there’s something wrong with you. If you change, that is, if you dress the right way and act the right way and become something completely different from who and what you are right now, then maybe you can get into this exclusive country club after you die, where all the right sort of people are going to be.

I think that’s a bad message. It’s bad because it makes people hate religion, but it’s also bad because it’s not accurate. Heaven (or the Celestial Kingdom if you like) is not an exclusive country club, it’s our birthright. When we invite people to be part of our religion we should lead with love first, and let them know they are part of our family. We’re not asking them to join the junior league, we just want them to come home.

New Music – Mumford & Sons

MCQ — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 08:41:57 +0000

Here are a couple of new tracks from Mumford & Sons, a band I have really come to like lately. Let me know what you think.

Remembering

MCQ — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 23:14:28 +0000

As we passed Memorial Day this week, I found myself thinking of the people I have lost the last few years. I lost my secretary several years ago, who died young of lung cancer (she was a smoker), I lost my uncle, who died in his sixties of complications related to birth defects, I lost a dear friend who committed suicide after a lengthy battle with bipolar disorder, I lost a grandfather and a grandmother (one from each side) who were both in their nineties, a friend’s family (his wife and two children) died in a car accident, and I lost my mother. Each of these deaths was very different and affected me in different ways. I spoke at the funerals of my uncle, my grandfather and my mother, and was happy to be able to honor them. My grandparents were old enough that there was nothing really sad about their passing, other than the fact that we cannot visit them now. They were ready to pass on and had said so many times, so we were able to celebrate their lives and talk about their great qualities and why we loved them. It was difficult and heart-breaking to attend the funerals of those who died young and unexpectedly. I don’t know if I will ever fully understand my friend who committed suicide. It seemed to me that he had everything to live for, but I’m told that there’s no way to understand the power of that particular mental illness over those who suffer from it, so all I can do is just be grateful that I knew my friend while he was with us.

Of all these deaths, however, the one that affected me most profoundly by far was the death of my mother. I’m still struggling with it in some ways. At the time, I knew I wanted to speak at her funeral and try to express some of what I was feeling, but I was not up to the job. I couldn’t even put my thoughts in any kind of order, or really get anything down on paper. I wrote her obituary, and helped organize the funeral, and those things seemed to take up all the available time between her death and when I found myself standing at the pulpit at her funeral. I thought that some things would come to me, but they didn’t. As much as I wanted to be there for my mom, I just couldn’t shake the fact that I didn’t want to be there at all. My dad and my mother’s best friend gave really beautiful tributes to her, both of which I think about and go back and read sometimes even now. But somehow I couldn’t figure out how to put two words together about my mom, and now that is the chief memory I have of her funeral: my spectacularly insufficient speech. It’s a failure I suffer over every time I think about it. Why couldn’t I speak about her? It has been over five years now and I still don’t know.

Maybe it’s because my feelings about my mom have never been anything I have put into words before, and I don’t know how. As I write this, I realize that I still don’t have the right words. As I think about her, my feelings are mainly wrapped up in childhood memories. I remember how good she always smelled. I remember the feel of her terry cloth robe and the soft scuff of her slippers on the floor. I remember how much I loved to make her laugh. She had a great laugh and a kind of sarcastic sense of humor, which is great in a friend but not always great in a mom. She was not an easy audience. Most of the things I wrote prior to reaching adulthood were written with the purpose of trying to impress her, which was a tall order. I loved to stay up late with her and watch the Tonight Show, which she loved to make fun of. I remember she let me stay up late once to watch “Son of Godzilla,” which, as a nine year old, I was so ecstatic about that I almost couldn’t breathe. She watched the whole thing with me, which was too awesome for words. A few years later, I returned the favor by going with her to a movie in the theater that she wanted to see but which my dad wouldn’t go to for some reason. The movie was “Sleuth.” It’s one of my favorite movies to this day, and I guarantee you it’s not because of Michael Caine’s brilliant acting.

It’s not too much to say that for me, my mom is my childhood, since nearly every memory I have before high school involves her directly or indirectly. I think that part of the problem is that I never really got to know her as a person apart from her role as my mom. I don’t think that is something that happens easily. Maybe it only happens after you spend time with your mother after you are an adult and have some perspective distance from your childhood and the role that your mother played in it. Maybe it never happens for most people. I don’t think I got enough time with my mother for that to happen. I’m sorry about that, because I would like to have known her more as a friend. As members of our Church, we know certain things about what happens when we die. We know we will see our family members again. But somehow, that’s not much comfort to me right now.

I watched my mother die and I didn’t know what to say. My last words to her were to ask if she wanted me to bring her father to see her. She said no in a way that meant she thought I was crazy for even suggesting it. She didn’t want to die. She was beautiful. I miss her.

A Year in the Making: U2 360 Salt Lake City

MCQ — Wed, 25 May 2011 16:19:22 +0000

U2 are the band that it seems everyone, of every age, has a fervently held opinion about, either positive or negative. It’s possible, maybe even fashionable, to be deeply cynical about them now, especially when they show up with 27 semis and build a UFO in a football stadium, preach at you between songs (am I buggin’ you?) and charge a hundred bucks per ticket for the privilege of hearing them do so. That kind of thing can turn people off.

And on top of all that, when you delay the concert for a year while your primadonna lead singer recuperates from a bad back (damaged while shouldering the cares of the world no doubt) you better think twice before hauling your sorry ass into town and asking people to dust off their year-old tickets and show up to your over-late, over-blown traveling circus of a show.

And yet. U2 are just that band for me. That band because I first fell in love with them listening to a borrowed copy of Wide Awake In America on my battered car stereo while driving to and from ski resorts as a budding ski bum in the 80s and watching a rented copy of Under A Blood Red Sky curled up in a dark basement.

Fell in love with them again in 1987 as a college sophomore teaching English in China when a bootlegged copy of The Joshua Tree felt like my only lifeline to civilization.

Went to Rattle and Hum when I got home and loved every cliched minute.

Fell in love with them again in law school when Achtung Baby was the only thing I ever listened to in the my red Corolla commuting from Tacoma to Olympia and back in the dark.

I was there for the Zoo TV tour on the sixth row. The Pop Mart tour in the nosebleed section. The Elevation tour just after 9/11 when it felt like Bono was our national funeral director and head cheerleader. I watched U23D in the theater three times. I mean, I love these guys, man. But can a love like that continue into middle age, or does it lose something over the years? Could this show live up to all the delayed expectations, or would it just be a disappointing retread?

I took my 14 year old daughter to the show, because she was excited about it and she has never seen U2. That concept is hard for me to wrap my head around. I used to sing her to sleep with this little lullaby when she was a baby:

As soon as we got into the stadium, the fun started. Even the ticket checkers were having a good time:

As it turned out, I was glad she was there with me.

The Fray opened and, coming fresh off their hometown appearance in Denver, they were charged up. Frontman Isaac Slade was engaging, marvelling at the size of his image on the jumbotron and the length of time it took to take a lap on the the enormous circular stage. He mentioned that his songs are primarily failed interventions and said they were working on a whole set of new ones.

It took almost an hour to reset after The Fray, during which time we were entertained by messages crawling accross the jumbotron. They were educational, telling us the time in various locations, as well as a number of obscure but interesting facts. For instance, did you know that no US President has ever been an only child? Or that the world will run out of oil in 15,500 or so days? Now you do.

U2 took the stage to the opening sounds of “Major Tom” and launched directly into “Even Better Than the Real Thing”, which was appropriate, since the two hour setlist leaned heavily toward Achtung Baby material:

Even Better Than The Real Thing
I Will Follow
Get On Your Boots
Magnificent
Mysterious Ways
Elevation
Until The End Of The World
All I Want Is You
Stay (Faraway, So Close!)
Beautiful Day
Pride (In The Name Of Love)
Miss Sarajevo
Zooropa
City Of Blinding Lights
Vertigo
I’ll Go Crazy / Discotheque
Sunday Bloody Sunday
Scarlet
Walk On

Encore 1
One
Where The Streets Have No Name

Encore 2
Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me
With Or Without You
Moment Of Surrender

The “Walk On” portion of the show was kicked off by a message from recently freed political prisoner and Burmese opposition leader Aung San Suu Kyi. She gave credit to U2 and Amnesty International for her release. Another portion of the show saw Bono reminding the audience that in some places, “dancing will earn you a life sentence, (and in some places it should).” Images on the screen evoked the Arab Spring, while the iconic drumline and guitar of (this song is NOT a rebel song, this song is…) “Sunday Bloody Sunday” charged into the night.

But all that is just the expected trappings that go along with a U2 concert. The thing that sets U2 apart from every other rock band is the theatrics. All that gimckrackery that they haul around with them in their trucks to every city. It has the potential for being an annoying distraction, but instead, in this case all that technology was seamlessly wedded to the artistry of the show. The setlist was almost irrelevant because the show seemed like a unified artistic whole that flowed flawlessly, even when Bono took time out to sing happy birthday to Bob Dylan or read a poem about Utah with three groupies from the audience.

The band members themselves have never looked better, nor has Bono ever been in better Vox. The enormous stage was a challenge, but Bono circumnavigated it several times, as did the others, which may account for why they are all in such great shape. Larry, in particular, looked like he could walk through a brick wall unscathed as he waltzed out from behind his drumkit playing his very own conga while jamming to “I’ll Go Crazy.” Edge was actually pogo-ing while playing guitar at times, which you don’t really expect to see this side of Blink 182. This band has energy, folks, and they’re not afraid to use it.

In short, this may be the best U2 show ever. My first one will always hold a special place in my heart, and it’s hard to beat the feeling that pervaded the arena in 2001 when the roll call of the dead climbed the wall and Bono opened his star-spangled heart, but if it’s possible for a rock show in a football stadium to feel (dare I say it) intimate, this show achieved that. It’s not often you can say things like this about a rock band, and God knows, it may make some cynics want to put their eyes out to read it, but this show actually made me want to be a better person. How many rock concerts can you say that about?

Huntsman 2012 – The Hip Choice?

MCQ — Sat, 30 Apr 2011 21:29:24 +0000

This article on the nascent Huntsman campaign is the first one I’ve read that actually makes a credible case for how Huntsman could win a presidential race. After reading it, I’m still not sure he’s running this time around, and there seems to be some possibility he might wait until 2016, but his political strategy appears to be that he intends to pitch himself as (you ready for this?) the cool republican.

Huntsman, it turns out, has some street cred. He dropped out of high school. He played in a rock band. He rides motorcycles. He’s straight-up badass, yo. At least that appears to be how his campaign wants to present him. The question remains, though, whether this is a winning strategy for a Mormon, republican, former-governor from Utah who just finished up a stint as the U.S. Ambassador to China in a democratic administration. It’s obviously intended to capture the youth vote, but it risks alienating conservatives, who (let’s face it) are the bedrock of any republican campaign. It does do one thing very well, however: it differentiates him from Romney, who tends to alienate people by coming across as far too polished and straight-from-boardroom for some tastes.

Your thoughts? Can a Mormon candidate be successful by being hip and cool?

Foo Fighters – Wasting Light

MCQ — Sat, 30 Apr 2011 01:50:22 +0000

We haven’t talked about Foo Fighters new album, Wasting Light, which was released a couple weeks ago, and which reunited Grohl with Butch Vig, the Nirvana producer. I was planning to do a post on it but then I saw them perform on Letterman and thought the videos of that performance were just awesome, so I’m posting one of them above. As with most Foo Fighters albums, this album has some great tracks and some that just are over the top. One of the tracks, called “I Should Have Known” features Krist Novoselic on bass and appears to be a memoir of their former bandmate’s death, with Grohl repeatedly singing “I cannot forgive you yet.” Seriously. I think this album is one of the best albums this band has ever done.

My favorite track is the one above. I also really like “Walk.” Let me know your thoughts on this new Foo.

Fictionist in the Final Four

MCQ — Sat, 30 Apr 2011 01:48:08 +0000

Fictionist is a great local band from here in Utah which has made it into the final four bands in a contest to be on the cover of Rolling Stone Magazine. You can check them out and listen to their music here and on that same site you can help them by giving them your support to make the cover (do it, it’s easy!). You can read a great interview with them here. Tell all your friends and relations to vote for them so we can get this cool Utah band on the cover of Rolling Stone. Thanks!

New Music: Augustana

MCQ — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 06:57:12 +0000

Augustana is a band that evolves with every album, and their new self-titled album, out now, is no exception. We’ve talked about Augustana before here and here, and as previously noted, the band started out as straight-up pop-rock balladeers, but with their last album switched gears a bit into a bluegrass-influenced folk/americana sound. This new album continues in that path, while bringing along some of the pop hooks that brought the band fame to begin with. To my ear, this album sounds a bit like Sam’s Town, the Killers album from a few years back that I really liked, but there are also legitimate comparisons to Dylan, Springsteen and even early U2. Dan Layus is a gifted singer and songwriter, and his college-buddy bandmates have gelled into a mature band that just gets better with every album.

Augustana and The Fray happen to be label-mates at Epic and share the distinction of being on tour with The Damnwells when the Epic infamously dropped that band mid-tour (as documented in the movie Golden Days). The label gave the two remaining bands the option of ditching The Damnwells, and to their credit, they said no and continued to tour with, give solid support to, and remain fans of, the band that their label shafted. Karma being what it is, Augustana has prospered from that moment on, and the Fray is touring with U2 this summer (and I will be seeing that show next month).

If you have previously been a fan of Augustana, this new album will not disappoint you. If you have never heard them before, this album is a fine introduction, and if you’ve been on the fence, this offering should push you solidly into their camp. Take a listen and let me know what you think.

The Atonement and The Book of Mormon Musical

MCQ — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 06:49:14 +0000

I’m always astonished to hear that there is little or no coordination among the speakers at General Conference. We correlate and pre-approve everything in this Church, but apparently, to a great extent, conference has escaped this tendency. Yet somehow, despite this, there is always a broad span of subjects covered and rarely a lot of overlap. This time, however, there were two talks on the Atonement. An overzealous attempt at correlation might have squelched one of these, but that would have been a mistake, as they covered the topic in different ways and they bracketed the conference nicely, one occurring in the Saturday morning session and one in the Sunday afternoon session. Both were by members of the seventy, the first by Elder Kent F. Richards, and the last by Elder C. Scott Grow (no relation to his more famous counterpart, Elder C. Spot Run) (ok, I apologize for that joke).

Both of these excellent talks focused primarily on the universality of the Atonement. Thankfully, they didn’t repeat the shopworn etymology of the word at-one-ment, or focus on the hows or whys of the atonement, about which we have had some genuinely fascinating discussions here in the bloggernacle. Instead, both talks focused on the effects of the atonement and how these effects can become available to us.

Elder Richards was a surgeon, and after observing that pain is something that all experience at times, and that pain can not only be endured, but can even be advantageous, he said:

The Savior is not a silent observer. He Himself knows personally and infinitely the pain we face.

“He suffereth the pains of all men, yea, the pains of every living creature, both men, women, and children.”

“Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”

Sometimes in the depth of pain, we are tempted to ask, “Is there no balm in Gilead; is there no physician there?”I testify the answer is yes, there is a physician. The Atonement of Jesus Christ covers all these conditions and purposes of mortality.

The purpose of the Atonement then, is not just remission of sins, but also to provide healing and relief for all pains and conditions of mortality.

Similarly, Elder Grow emphasized the universal nature of the atonement, that it was made for the remission of sins and also for the comfort of those who were in pain because of the sins or misdeeds of others:

Not only did He pay the price for the sins of all men, but He also took “upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.” And He took “upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, … that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.”

The Savior felt the weight of the anguish of all mankind―the anguish of sin and of sorrow. “Surely he has borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows.”

Through His Atonement, He heals not only the transgressor, but He also heals the innocent who suffer because of those transgressions. As the innocent exercise faith in the Savior and in His Atonement and forgive the transgressor, they too can be healed.

These are powerful testimonies of the healing power of the Atonement, made by Christ in the meridian of time for the benefit of all mankind, following which, and as a condition of which, he died and rose again. It is this that we celebrate this Easter season. And I add my testimony to those borne during conference, of the reality and power of this great selfless act, the atonement of Jesus Christ. Though I don’t understand how it works, it has blessed my life in ways that I am well aware of and in ways I fear I am still quite ignorant of, and I am grateful for it every day. I believe the Atonement has the power to truly change us as people, and it is through its power that we experience the change of heart that is required of all who wish to truly become followers of Jesus Christ.

In thinking about this great Atonement this season, I was reminded of the discussions that have taken place regarding the Book of Mormon musical currently playing on Broadway. There have been a number of interesting discussions about it already, two of which you can read about here and here. For myself, I have no opinion on the musical itself because I haven’t seen it, but if those who have seen it are accurate in portraying its general message then it appears to be saying something similar to what Parker and Stone (two of its creators) have said about Mormonism before, which is perhaps best summed up by this South Park episode:



http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:item:southparkstudios.com:154259
All About the Mormons?

Tags: SOUTH

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In other words, they are saying that Mormonism is based on obvious lies, but it’s useful in that it teaches people to be nice and help one another. Most of those who have seen the musical apparently come away with a similar idea: Mormons are loving, warm, wonderful people, who must be a bit stupid because Mormonism is a bit idiotic. Despite this, it can be very helpful in giving people purpose and in teaching good behavior.

This message is not terrible, as far as it goes, and the fun that is made of Mormonism in the musical and elsewhere by Parker and Stone is mostly harmless, perhaps even comlimentary in some ways, but it misses the point entirely because it fails to acount for things like the Atonement, as discussed above.

This is a similar point to the one made by Andrew Sullivan, which was linked in the BCC post by John C. Religion in general, and Mormonism in particular, is not really of any use if it’s all based on a pack of lies. There’s no way to really change people’s behavior, in any meaningful or permanent way, without changing their hearts, and no nice story, however firmly believed in by any number of gullible idiots, ever had any power to do that. The power of the Atonement is the only thing that ever can change hearts, change people and redeem mankind, and unless the Atonement really happened, Mormonism specifically, and Christianity in general, is useless and powerless.

So Parker and Stone can go on thinking of Mormonism as a useful lie, and Mormons as wonderful, nice helpful idiots, but the reality is that the thing they ignorantly recognize as “warmth” and “niceness” in the Mormons they have met is actually the transformative power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, working in the lives of those who choose to believe in Christ and attempt to follow him.

Justified: Debts and Accounts

MCQ — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 06:47:08 +0000

The name of this episode is, once again, significant in more ways than one. Mags is despondent over Coover’s death and wants to “settle accounts.” She meets with Raylan’s aunt, who is apparently representing the Givens side of things. After some talk, Mags is apparently convinced not to go after Raylan for the killing. She also shares the Black Pike money. Before leaving the bar, she is confronted by a man who is upset about her selling out to the mining company. She warns him in front of a bar full of people that he will be killed if he speaks to her like that again. Don’t mess with Mags.

She also settles accounts with Dickie, but it seems to me that she leaves a lot undone there. She knows how he is and what he’s been doing and yet, instead of putting the fear of God into him, she gives him the weed business and severs ties with him. Essentially, she blames him for Coover’s death. I think she knows how Dickie will react, and she’s letting it happen. She wants Raylan dead and she’ll let Dickie do the dirty work, because then she gets to claim that she kept her promise to leave it alone. I think she also knows that Dickie will go after Boyd, and she’s letting that happen as well, because if Dickie succeeds, then she can get back in control without going back on her deal with Boyd. She appears not to care what might happen to Dickie in all this. Nice, Mom.

Accounts are also getting settled between the two couples, Raylan & Winona and Boyd & Ava. Boyd is in Ava’s debt for her willingness to cover for him on the mine robbery, but he’s leaving Ava’s place and she seems conflicted about it. He claims he has to leave because she won’t allow criminal activity. Clearly, this means he’s going back into the family business and understands that Ava will want no part of it. Ava gets it and orders him out, but there’s something wistful about it. We’re not done here.

Meanwhile, Winona is in Raylan’s debt for his help in getting her out of the mess she created by stealing money from the evidence room, but she has been dodging his calls. When he finally gets to talk to her, she wants more favors, and says they ought to not see each other for a while. Raylan doesn’t like this and she seems to not mean it either. Seems she needs a ride to the lawyer’s office to discuss her divorce from Gary. The scene between Raylan and Winona is priceless: a study in conflicting egos and expectations. Raylan implies that Winona may be losing her mind, and she agrees that she thought she might be crazy. On the way to the lawyer’s office, there’s a silver Caddy following them with two men in it. Raylan handles it in typical fashion. Nothing is resolved with Winona as Raylan has to go see Loretta, and Winona has to meet with Gary. We’re not done here either.

Raylan’s scene with Loretta is heartbreaking because this kid seems too grownup for her age, but yet completely lost at the same time. She’s sad about her Dad, but mostly she feels bad for not missing him more. Now she has no one to live with and has to go to foster care. Raylan convinces her to give it a try. He doesn’t baby her, and seems a bit uncaring here, but there’s also a sense that he knows this is what she needs. It’s a painful scene, because this kid has been seriously messed up, but there’s nothing anyone can do about it now. It’s a debt someone else owes, on an account that can’t be settled.

Raylan tries to settle up with Art, but Art won’t have it. Rather than having it out, Art says they will never speak of it, and claims he’s stuck with Raylan. He tells Raylan to just keep on doing what he’s going to do and Art will keep cleaning up after him. He thinks the problem will work itself out because Raylan’s not going to be around that long anyway. Harsh. There was a friendship there, but it’s now a train wreck. Raylan appears very dissatisfied about the whole thing.

Boyd begins his new job by reacquainting himself with his only remaining family. Yes, Johnny is alive, though he’s in a wheelchair and apparently has had a colostomy. He’s bitter about Boyd and skeptical of his plans, but he has no better options, so he goes along. Boyd’s line to Johnny: “I don’t believe in miracles anymore,” cements the fact that Boyd has abandoned any pretense of his former beliefs and attempts at a life of legitimacy. They start by going to get one of Boyd’s former henchmen and plan to get Johnny’s bar back. Dickie shows up in the middle of the planning and serves notice that Boyd’s deal with Mags is off. He’s got his own henchman and it appears this is going to be an epic battle for control. Boyd is characteristically low-key, and cryptically says: “We just found our messenger.” Clearly, he plans to use Dickie to announce his new business to the populace. This will not end well for someone.

After his discussion with Art, Raylan feels there’s no play for him left as a Marshal in Art’s domain, so he proposes to Winona that they run off together and go back to the Marshal’s academy at Glyco, Georgia, where Raylan hopes to be an instructor in firearms, as he was before when he first met Art. He tells Winona he loves her, and is taken aback by her reply: “That’s sweet.” she’s a bit cynical about the whole proposal and wants to think about it, which of course makes Raylan a little mad. On their way home, The silver Caddy shows up again and attacks them, causing them to flee into a nearby manufacturing plant. Raylan gives Winona his handgun and tells her if they get past him to “keep shooting until they stop moving or you run out of bullets.” Raylan eventually shoots both the assailants and when he returns to Winona, she says yes to Glynco. But something tells me they’re not going right away. Still some accounts left to settle.

Boyd is hanging around outside Ava’s house at night and she finds him there as she returns from a walk. It’s clear he has feelings for her and she finally gives in to her feelings as well. This is going to be quite a relationship, I think.

Clark’s right that there’s something unsatisfying about Boyd’s sudden trasition back to crimelord. It seems he believes it to be an inevitability, after he was drug back into crime against his will at the mine, but there could have, and probably should have, been another scene where he struggles with his options, and Ava does too. It seemed too easy for both of them, and the choice they appear to be making is one they could very well regret forever. Maybe the show is saying that choices like that are often made way too easily. It also seems to be saying that you sometimes can’t run away from your past, and that there is a certain inevitability about some choices. Boyd almost appears unable to go legit even when he wants to.

Raylan and Winona also appear to be locked into a fate that they hardly chose. They want to run away to Glynco and live happily ever after, but does anyone think they actually will? Big things happening next week.